Each one of us has this experience of dealing with difficult people. After the ordeal is over we go into research mode to discover two things. Does it happen with me only and why is this person so difficult.
People who like to be in control
There are a certain category of people, a group which wants to be in control. Yes, there are people who are born leaders but I am referring to the other group. The ones who assume that someone has put them in charge and then try to control the situation around them.
Such people are not open to suggestions. They have some fixed ideas in their mind and they are not willing to be flexible. I have seen them sometimes, listening to suggestions of total strangers but yet ignoring advise of friends and family members.
Control helps to lose adaptability
If a person is stubborn enough, you have got the right control freak. The desire to be in control makes you lose adaptability. A person fixated on one thing or a bunch of things is not going to be amenable to new idea. But why is adaptability so important.
Survival of the fittest – the one who can adapt to change
All along history we know about the animals who could not survive because they did not adapt. But there is more to it. What if certain people do not have the capability or the mental capacity to change to adapt.
So now we have people who are difficult to deal with because they have a stubborn set of idea which cannot change because they are not able to understand the concept of change.
For such people change is also equated to losing control.
Dealing with difficult people
Before we get down to a solution, picture this. A woman newly married to a difficult guy and what is the first thing she does. Start with changing the person according to her desires. But here is the paradox. She married the guy for who he was but why the need for changes. Because people cannot resist trying to change others. So now you can imagine this scenario. A person who does not want to change staying with a person who working hard on changing that very person.
The solution is to allow difficult people to keep their illusion. After all if you are busy with something, will you still want to control things around you.